A MUCH BETTER BLOG

Bianca sweeping and saying thank you

Crazy stroller ride

Brielle taking baby kitty for a walk on a leash

Brielle dressing Bianca up (like Fancy Nancy)

Bianca making a phone call

Bianca making animal noises

Bianca meowing and saying Bye

Bianca playing with Blackers

Bianca and her favorite Elmo slippers

Daddy and Bianca making music

Blackie died a year ago on the 25th. Anyone who said he was “just a cat” hadn’t spent much time with him. I spent over 17 years of my life with him while he was alive and he still touches my life today.

I still miss him tons. His ashes are in an unopened box from the veterinarian. I still can’t bring myself to look at it. It still breaks my heart. I think one of these days I will get an urn and open the box but for now….nope. Can’t do it.

I still struggle with the decision I made to put him to sleep. Everyone I know thinks it was “the right thing to do” but I don’t know. He was crippled from the waist down but healthy from the waist up. He was just as loving and wonderful as he always was. I had a baby on the way and once he started having “accidents” on the same carpet she would be crawling on, I made my decision.

By accidents, I should mention that I had been successfully using elimination communication (EC) with Blackie for months. He would literally hold it until I held him over the toilet to go. He couldn’t physically get into the litter box since his back legs didn’t work but he immediately adjusted to the EC routine after he lost the use of his legs. My parents and other pet sitters were shocked that he would go in the toilet (purring the whole time) with someone holding him up. It was after he went on a “potty strike”, to use an EC term, that he started having accidents on the carpet.

I will always wonder if I could have used a cart, explored surgery, used pet diapers or anything else that could have kept Blackie with us longer. He was such a great cat, great friend and family member. I found out later that there is a no-kill shelter nearby that accepts crippled dogs and cats. I had looked into area shelters in the past without any luck and I cannot imagine why the vet wouldn’t know about this particular shelter, but the fact remains that I discovered it way too late.

We have Blackers now and while no pet can replace the one we lost, Blacker is a delightful cat and he is great with both girls and we are having a super time with him. I still miss Blackie though. Maybe next year I can open the box.

I was walking my parent’s two dogs the other day. I was wearing Bianca in a sling and had just changed her to a carrying position in which I was truly hands free. Usually I wear her on my hip and I need one arm around her but this time I sort of stuffed her in the pouch facing out with her legs crossed pretzel style. Picture a kangaroo if you don’t know what I mean. This way her arms and torso are free and she can see everything but both of my hands are totally free.

Long story short, I was walking the dogs and carrying Bianca, and another larger dog apparently broke away from his family and came charging out of nowhere and got in a dog fight with Sugar. It was a full on dog fight and I did not have time to think. I lifted Sugar right up in the air with my right arm and I lifted Sasha in the air with my left arm. I had my arms right over my head and the bigger dog couldn’t reach them. She circled my legs a few times and her leash was wrapping around me but her owners had caught up with her by then.

I have no idea how the story would have ended if I had Bianca in my arms or a stroller instead of strapped securely to my body. I would not have been able to lift either dog without letting her go and I obviously would have not let go of my baby to save the dogs. Needless to say, the whole incident could have ended very badly but only became a slightly exciting story to tell instead.

I do not own fur but like most people I own leather items. I have mostly been opposed to the use of animal products because there are perfectly acceptable alternatives.

Why should an animal die so I can have leather shoes or a leather purse? It doesn’t make sense. I did not realize however, that these animals are subjected to unbelievably cruel treatment before and at slaughter. According to PETA’s website,

“Animals on fur farms often spend their entire lives trapped in tiny wire cages. Fur farmers often use the cheapest and crudest slaughter methods available, such as breaking animals’ necks while they are fully conscious or using anal or genital electrocution. To learn more about what happens to animals who are killed for their fur or skins, watch this short video, narrated by Project Runway’s Tim Gunn:”

Warning – this video has powerful images. They will haunt me permanently. Watch at your own risk.

Funky (my “stray” cat) got pregnant shortly after Bianca was born and had a lovely litter of kittens about four weeks ago. I love animals but never thought I would be capable of such empathy for a cat. I guess it was my own recent pregnancy/birth that let me associate so closely with Funky’s.

It was fun watching her expand and get as clumsy as I was toward the end of my own pregnancy. She tried to jump on the table and fell more than once in the last week or so of her pregnancy. She also did tons of “nesting”. She was always climbing in drawers and cupboards and any other small space trying to find the right birthing nest. Thank goodness she finally chose a cardboard box.

In what I considered to be the most special part of her pregnancy (for me), I was able to feel her babies moving when I had my hand on her belly. It never occurred to me that this phenomenon wasn’t a strictly human characteristic. Anyway, I loved it and I even tried to catch a video of her belly fur moving all over the place.

What struck me the most is that she “insisted” in her own cat-like way, that I be right next to her when she went into labor. I have always had the belief that animals choose to birth alone (one of the reasons I think it makes sense for women to birth unassisted). Go figure that my cat would insist on a human being to be her doula.

When she went into labor she kept leading me to the box I had set out for her. I tried to leave the room a number of times and she would jump out, come get me and meow while looking over her shoulder to make sure I was following, and head directly back to the box.

She wanted me right next to her and seemed happier when I was petting her. She even looked right at me when she yowled out the first kitten.

Also worth noting was how stinky birth is. Yuk. When I was in labor I was far too focused to smell anything but this time I had my face right in the “birthing box” while things were happening. Birth is stinky.

In addition to teaching me a thing or two about birth, Funky had a beautiful litter of five kittens and of course they are getting cuter by the day.

Brielle has been a second mommy to them and one time she locked Funky in a closet and announced that she was the new kitty mommy. Now that they are walking, they flock to her so she couldn’t have caused too much psychological trauma by keeping them from their mommy.

It will be tough giving them up but we are enjoying our role as foster parents for the next few weeks. Here is the kitten slideshow if you want to see all the pics from birth through adoption.

Sasha is my parent’s newest addition to their family. She is less than a week younger than Bianca and weighed about two pounds when my parents got her. She is half Chihuahua and half Sheltie (like my parent’s previous dog). She is also arguably the cutest dog in the universe.

Bianca kissed by dog lips”

Sasha fits in a hand

Grandpa babywearing Sasha

Grandpa, Brielle, Sasha

Brielle and Sasha

Brielle babywearing Sasha in her Hotsling

This is going to be a huge post but I prefer for my favorite photos to have a home on the blog as well as Flickr to make it easier to take a walk back in time. These are in no particular order because I just added them as I found them.
Grandma, Grandpa and all the grandkids (more…)

Holy cow!!!! I just don’t know where the last six weeks have gone! I honestly think time is flying by faster with two children than just one. I didn’t even think that was possible.

We are having a great time. I still consider myself unbelievably blessed. Bianca is a fabulous baby. She is low maintenance and exceptionally happy. Brielle is a phenomenal big sister and everything is just going so much smoother than I ever expected. I couldn’t be happier. Here is the rundown of how the last 6 weeks has been (AP style). (more…)