A MUCH BETTER BLOG

Image Source: Leo Reynolds on Flickr

She asks a lot of questions and I always try to give her honest, accurate answers that will not only educate her but will also keep her from learning about life from her adolescent friends a decade from now.

While I have no problem giving her answers to topics that other parents avoid like the plague, I have a few topics that I am exceptionally passionate about. One is routine male circumcision and yesterday Brielle hit the nail on the head.

The last thing I want to do is perpetuate the craziness that has made natural far from normal and the normal people far from natural. I also need to convey the truth without inadvertently bashing the people in her life who are either circumcised or chose to circumcise their own children.

She knows that cats and dogs have retractable penises. Yesterday she asked me (out of the blue),

“Does “so and so” (a male friend of hers) have a penis that disappears like Blackers?”

Me: “Um, no…”

Brielle: “It is always outside??” (At this point I don’t know if she is doing mental comparisons to the cat or to female genitalia, but she is pretty surprised either way.)

Me: “Well, yeah. Not all boys are outside all the time. Boys are born with it hidden but lots of boys have surgery to take away the part that hides it.”

Brielle: “Who does the surgery?” (she is fascinated at this point)

Me: “Doctors”

Brielle: “All boys have the surgery?”

Me: “No, lots of them though”

Brielle: “How do they do it?”

I was at a loss here. I know that they strap down the helpless, screaming, hysterical infant and crush off the foreskin with no anesthesia after literally tearing it away from the glans. I can’t tell Brielle that. She will have nightmares (I know I do). I am rarely at a loss for words but I really did not know what to tell her. I finally said:

“Um….uhh….they sort of cut it off.”

Brielle: “Maybe they use a special penis knife”

Me: “Yeah, they kind of do”

Brielle: “Why?”

Me: “What??”

Brielle: “Why do they do it? Why do they do the surgery?”

Sigh………..Now what do I tell her? Because it is a hugely profitable industry? Because some parents prefer amputation to soap and water? Habit?? Because parents don’t do the research first? Because ‘they’ can? Because some parents think their children are property? The best answer is probably ‘Because they don’t know any better’. I just said:

“Because they want all the boys to look the same.”

Skipping Pain Relief on Elective Surgery

We could (and should) be asking why a medically unnecessary surgery is legal in the first place but apparently the “solution” of the day is to use music to ease the pain and suffering of this intensely painful and traumatic procedure rather than waiting 20 minutes for anesthesia to kick in or better yet, letting the individual consent to the procedure after their 18th birthday (when anesthesia would always be used).

From Health.MSN.com:

“Many studies report that the experience is traumatic and stressful for the baby.

But when the procedures are done, only 14 percent of physicians use anesthesia, even though the American Academy of Pediatricians indicates that the need for pain control is clear.

I beg you. Please learn the truth about this procedure before you agree to circumcize your child.

Image Source: London Looks on Flickr.com

March Against Infant Circumcision

Please consider attending the 16th Annual March Against Infant Circumcision, taking place at the US Capitol from Wednesday, March 25, 2009 – Wednesday, April 1, 2009.

Find details about the demonstration at Gloria Lemay’s blog.

Reveal the truth * www.StopInfantCircumcision.org
National Organizations for the Human Rights of Children:
www.cirp.org
www.nocirc.org

www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/
Nurses for the Rights of the Child * www.cirp.org/nrc/
Attorneys for the Rights of the Child * www.arclaw.org/
Circumcision Resource Center * Jewish Issues * www.circumcision.org/
Students for Genital Integrity * www.studentsforgenitalintegrity.org/
Halt Abuse and Routine Mutilation of Males * www.noharmm.org/

Mothers Against Circumcision * www.mothersagainstcirc.org/
In Memory of the Sexually Mutilated Child * www.sexuallymutilatedchild.org/
Ashley Montagu Resolution * Nobel laureates * www.MontaguNOCIRCpetition.org/
National Organization of Restoring Men * foreskin restoration * www.norm.org
To read the text of our Male Genital Mutilation Bill proposal please go to:
www.mgmbill.org/
Sue the circumcisers and hospitals for cutting your genitals without asking you for your consent

www.sueeasy.com/litigants/
Together we will protect our boys and children across this world from the genital mutilators and genital torturers.
Gloria Lemay’s activities: people.tribe.net/gladiator…ove/photos
Video of publicly burning down the circumstraint
Part 1 at www.youtube.com/watch

Image and link list Source: Glorialemay.com

As many of you already know, I am currently pregnant and due at the end of November. For a variety of reasons I kept it under my hat for the first few months but it is pretty much public knowledge now and it’s all good.

Details:
Due Nov 23, its a girl (Bianca Skye). We are super excited and can’t wait to meet her. Brielle takes it all in stride and will make a great big sister. Some people seem to be concerned about second time single motherhood but I have no worries. If I was the type of person who was needy or relied on other people to take care of me, it might be a scary proposition, but truth be told, the news has created a very real deadline for me and has lit a fire under my ass to get more done with my website and store. Things are coming together. I guess being independent and resourceful is finally coming in handy, huh?

One of the reasons I have kept quiet until now is that I have been waffling on the issue of staying quiet for privacy sake or going public with my life in the name of the greater good. If you visit my website at all, you know that I believe very strongly in natural childbirth and parenting. I believe that I have an ethical obligation to bring as much attention to the issues as I am able because many people do not realize that there is a better way…..

That said, this blog will probably be less a photo/video journal of Brielle’s life, and more a personal account of my childbirth and parenting experiences to highlight how easy, affordable and wonderful it is and also to show that I practice what I preach on my website.

There are a few things I will be doing differently this time around:

Unassisted Childbirth
No doctors or midwives. I have almost incessantly studied the issues surrounding childbirth for over 3 years and I have learned a great deal about unnecessary interventions and how they harm women and children. I have already ruled out any health conditions that would preclude a home birth and I will of course go to the hospital if a problem arises. Wild horses wont get me there if there is not problem to begin with. I will blog extensively about this in the next few months to provide details for the critical, skeptical and cynical among you. I will also be skipping active management of the 3rd stage (NOBODY is touching the cord) and unnecessary, harmful newborn procedures such as the Hepatitis shot and other such nonsense.

Read Pushed by Jennifer Block and watch The Business of Being Born before you throw a hissy fit about UC and then get back to me.

Elimination Communication
Brielle used the potty from a very early age (about 1.5 months) but she used diaper backups until she was almost 2. For the uninitiated, EC is the practice of using cues and timing to avoid the use of diapers altogether. I could use cloth backups but I believe that “trains” the baby to go in their clothing, where 100% EC from the beginning teaches both baby and parent to use a receptacle from the get go. I am really looking forward to it. Many consider it an extreme form of AP, but it is really the most simple form of parenting their is. There will be extensive blogging about this as well after Bianca is born because EC is fun and for some reason it is a highly charged issue among the critics.

Babywearing
I think baby carriers are the best things to happen to moms and babies since boobs. I LOVE babywearing. I was so poor when I had Brielle that I only had one New Native pouch that I scrimped and saved for. Now I have access to a huge variety of slings, pouches and carriers through my store and oh….boy…. I am going to have a very nice selection. Many AP advocates recommend 9 in and 9 out, meaning that newborns are carried and held non-stop for the first 9 months and I am all for that and I am sure Bianca will be too. I also have a few tops from Precious Image Creations that allow you to wear your baby INSIDE your clothing right against your skin. Kangaroo care, or skin to skin care benefits preemies the most, but all babies need direct human contact (and lots of it) to thrive. I can’t wait. There should be lots of babywearing posts and pics as well.

Cosleeping
Brielle and I coslept from day one but I usually had an unused crib or bassinet taking up space and I actually tried to stick Brielle in it a few times. I wont bother pretending she is going to sleep alone. She isn’t. I have additional challenges sleeping with a 3.5 yr old and a newborn (who wont be wearing diapers) so I am sure I will have fun stories to blog about.

Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is the best. I can’t wait. Bianca will be breastfed exclusively for a minimum of six months and she can breastfeed as long as she wants. Brielle weaned a few months ago because pregnant boo feels dramatically different than non-pregnant boo. I will be willing to let her take it up again if she is interested.

Pregnancy
I am having a happier pregnancy this time around because I am not escaping a crazy lunatic husband who liked to beat me and I also know how precious and shortlived pregnancy is. I enjoy every kick. I am also foregoing unnecessary tests such as gestational diabetes (I don’t have risk factors or symptoms and they cant treat it anyway other than with a diet similar to what I already eat). I will blog about this if I get any pressure to undergo additional tests but I have already successfully dodged most of them.

I will also get some nice belly pics up on the blog. One of my big regrets the first time around was not getting any pregnant pics except for a handful that Dennis took at the very end. It seems like pregnancy can go on forever, but in reality, it is over in the blink of an eye.

Vaccinations
I will respectfully decline all foreign substances from being injected into my helpless, perfectly healthy newborn. I will say or do whatever it takes to keep “them” away from her. “yeah, yeah….its religious reasons…., sure!”

Circumcision
I will not be amputating a perfectly healthy and functioning part of her body without a valid medical reason. Oh wait……we do that to innocent American boys, not girls….thats right. No worries. Yeah, I will probably be blogging about genital mutilation too.

I am sure there is a lot more that I will be blogging about, including how my website and store is coming along and how many more cats we have trying to move in. For now, that is probably enough for most people to digest. If you only want to see pictures or movies of Brielle and Bianca then bookmark the Flickr and Youtube links. If you are interested in how families birth and parent in the absence of outside interference, then subscribe and visit often.