A MUCH BETTER BLOG

My new kick ass laptop

My ex husband did not just beat me, he liked to break my “things” once in awhile too. This is an excellent strategy used by abusive men to terrorize their women.

If the woman is afraid he will destroy her stuff or hurt her pets/kids then she will freeze in terror, walk on eggshells, pretty much do nothing, hoping he won’t do it again.

I had bought a Mac G4 laptop a few months before I met my ex. I LOVED, (I mean loved) that computer. It was fast, sleek and wonderful. In an unprovoked and particularly violent attack, he snapped it in half and then ground his big, heavy shoes into the screen to seal the deal. From an abusers point of view, that would cut me off from the world, from support, from information, from help and of course scare the crap out of me.

This was back in 2003 if I remember correctly. I was not able to replace it while I was with him and I have not been able to buy one since.

After I escaped, a dear friend passed along his old Dell to me which I have used daily and built my entire business with it. I can never express my gratitude for that kind gift because A Much Better Way would not exist today if it were not for his thoughtfulness and generosity.

That said, the computer was outdated and slow and so I finally got a new one. Using some of this years tax refund, I got a refurbished Gateway from CompUsa. It is loaded, was a mere $399 and arrived in literally 24 hours (no joke). I am so incredibly delighted with it. It is fast and efficient and has probably at least tripled my productivity.

The G4 has been on my mind for seven lousy years. Destroying that computer was an incredibly cruel, horrible thing to do. I have longed for that laptop and played the night over in my head repeatedly.

Was it eating me inside? No. Was I still pissed? Yes. Did it teach me a lesson about becoming too attached to possessions? Yes. Should I have kicked him to the curb then and there? Duh.

For some strange reason, the new laptop not only gives me a new business tool, but a somewhat clearer head to carry on with.

I am not a big fan of New Years Resolutions. Doing something new on January 1st seems completely arbitrary to me. If I want to do something, I just do it. I don’t need a random date to start something.

That said, I have a couple of New Years Resolutions. It has more to do with the fact that I am turning 40 this year than a random resolution. My goals? To sleep more and practice yoga every day. That’s it.

I have been slaving away on my website and store for the last four years and I have sacrificed sleep and a certain amount of sanity to work when I can. I kept telling myself “When I turn 40 I will start doing yoga every day” and “When I turn 40 I will sleep more”. I won’t be 40 until April but heck, I may as well start now, right?

They seem like very simple goals but the girls have a lot to say about them. Sleep for example, is just not in the cards right now. Usually the only time I have to work is when the girls are sleeping. Brielle is a terrible sleeper and will often be up past 10 or even midnight. Bianca has been keeping me up all night long lately as she cuts her last four teeth.

I need to work so I usually go to bed late and if they don’t let me sleep once I go to bed, I am pretty much screwed. It is still a goal and ideally, some glorious dayI will go to bed at 10pm but it will probably require a day care situation so I can work during normal business hours.

That said, I am very aware that if I did go to bed at a reasonable hour, then I would be a better, more relaxed parent and quite likely a much more productive business owner. I struggle with this issue every night and usually the desire to get the business built overtakes my desperate need for sleep.

Yoga on the other hand, is something I have a bit more control over. I have been using Yoga for Beginners with Patricia Walden for years. There is a part in the bonus section of the DVD called “Bringing it all Together” and I think it is a 16 minute workout which is primarily flexibility and balance. I love it but I was looking for something a bit more challenging and new.

Being a big fan of the 10 Minute Solution series, I bought 10 Minute Yoga Solutions with Lara Hudson because of course, 10 minutes is all I can carve out and even that is almost impossible. There are five different workouts with different goals such as flexibility and relaxation or toning your tush. Ten minutes might not seem like much but trust me (as a beginner), Lara can be quite a task master in a tiny time frame.

On many mornings, my little workout is met with screams of protest and general uproar. Ten lousy minutes. After a few weeks of this routine, Brielle seems to be on board and usually does the workout with me. She likes to pick which routine we will do and of course I am in awe of her flexibility.

Bianca participates by sitting on me when I am on the floor, pulling up my shirt and blowing raspberries on my belly when I am on my back and sometimes lifting her arms in the air in a big stretch. One time she got in to the cupboards and I looked up just in time to see her approaching me wielding a frying pan.

It is super easy to skip the yoga. I don’t like the hassle from the girls and if they start fighting or trashing the place during my ten little minutes, then I end up substantially more stressed than when I started.

I am trying to do it every day though. I am forcing myself to do it. I feel great (physically anyway) when I am done. I am setting a good example for the girls. When they participate, it grounds us all. Plus, it will make me feel a lot better to be flexible and balanced at 40.

Blogging Break

Given my time constraints being at home with my girls full time, it has taken months to make the transition. I decided to focus exclusively on the transfer just to get the new store up and running as quickly as possible.

In the time that I have taken a break from posting I have added a bunch of new natural family product lines like Under the Nile and Imse Vimse which I am really excited about. The store is doing great and it keeps me super busy. It is a great problem to have.

In the meantime, I am back. Back to posting, back to doing giveaways and back to being in the swing of things. I was here all along but I really needed to focus to get my store where it needed to be.

Brielle and I went on a “movie date” to see The Princess and The Frog yesterday.

This was significant for a few reasons. First of all, Brielle and I rarely get to spend time alone together since Bianca was born so we both really looked forward to our date. Second, this is the first time in her life that Brielle was able to sit through an entire movie. Most importantly, I despise Disney “princess” movies but I gave it a chance based on the reviews.

The lead character was African American, she worked two jobs to pursue her dream of being a small business owner and wasn’t “princessified” until the very end of the movie. She also ended up putting the broke prince to work as a server in her restaurant which was kind of cool. I was a little worried that he would be co-owner by default.

It contained absolutely none of the typical Disney “you need a prince to save you/complete your life/rescue you” baloney and for those of you who think Disney is “anti-marriage” or “pro-single parent”, the lead character had two loving parents.

All in all The Princess and The Frog sent a perfectly decent message for little girls to pursue their dreams because they can accomplish anything and thankfully the prince was an afterthought. I am totally comfortable with the message it sent Brielle.

Brielle’s favorite part was the frog wedding. Mine was when Ray the Cajun firefly found true love.

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Bianca sweeping and saying thank you

Crazy stroller ride

Brielle taking baby kitty for a walk on a leash

Brielle dressing Bianca up (like Fancy Nancy)

Bianca making a phone call

Bianca making animal noises

Bianca meowing and saying Bye

Bianca playing with Blackers

Bianca and her favorite Elmo slippers

Daddy and Bianca making music

“Drinking” coffee out of mommy’s cup

Dress up and Home Depot run

Dorothy playing mommy with Blackers (who is the most patient cat in history)

Bianca at Rainforest Cafe

Brielle all dressed up to see Sesame Street Live. She just loves live shows but she didn’t realize this was for kids.

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Blackers wont stay out of our Christmas tree

Naked tree decorating

Getting a tree from the tree farm with Jim and the boys

Poor Bianca NEVER cries and this pony scared the bejeesus out of her.

Bianca looks so big to me here

Getting a shoulder ride with explanations from daddy

They are the same height when Brielle is kneeling

My daughter the comedian. (It really does crack me right up)

Bianca loves to wear necklaces

Snuggle time (I love this one)

Brielle (aka animal whisperer) taking the cat for a walk on a leash

Brielle reminds me SO much of myself at that age in this picture.

Matching jams -too freaking cute!

I can’t believe this is November

They are really starting to be able to have a lot of fun together

First fort was a big hit